Metal heart you're not worth a thing.

I've neglected my blog for about three days and feel guilty about it. I haven't been feeling great these past few days. Well no, I haven't felt great for a while now. You could just blame it on my lack of activity during the past week, but there's a lot more to it. I remember the last time I felt truly happy. It was too long ago.

As the month of January comes to a close, I look back on the month that was and it has been very eventful. I've changed and grown as a person, for better and for worse. I've opened myself up to my loved ones, which has been both good and bad. I'm much more honest with myself and have given up on trying. I've gotten over myself and now know what and who I need, like, want and don't need anymore. I know that sounds cruel, but it's who I am now.

This time half a month ago. I was back in Melbourne. That was the last time I remember being truly happy. I miss Melbourne so much it hurts. It upsets me when I sit here and think about how different my life would be if I was still there. I feel like I'm missing out on so much here. I can't go out and do what I would back home. There are more people like me back home. I would have a much better quality of life. I would be happier. I would be happy.

"Living overseas is a wonderful opportunity, and the people you will meet and schools you go to are going to open so many doors for you and offer you so much"

I understand this and have heard it millions of times, but what good is all of this if I'm not enjoying it. What good is all of this going to do me if all it does it get me down. Your teenage years are supposed to be some of the best in your life, but mine haven't. Mine have been plagued with constant change. I want stability. I need stability. I'm growing and changing, all that I ask for is for my surroundings to stay the same, but obviously that's too much to ask. I know what you must be thinking, "Oh great, another spoilt whinging teenager", but you don't understand. Nobody seems to understand or listen. I've tried to talking about it with the hope that I would be able to change all of this, but that was all in vain and now it feels like I'm dangling over the edge, and I'm about to fall. Everything seems to be out of my own control and it's all beginning to fall apart.

Procrastination.

I was in fact sort of doing my Personal Project by googling illustrations in an effort to get some inspiration, but like always, I was side tracked. I found these amazing illustrations and I decided to post them on my blog!
I hope you like them too!

These are all by Kukula, Fafi and Miss Van. They're my favourites at the moment. I love how girly but edgy their art is. I could analyse it all but I won't, so in short I think that their work is beautiful.

We fly balloons on this fuel called love.

Cardi: Cotton On
Top: Supre
Bag: Some market in Bangkok
Bangle: Diva
Jeans: JayJays
Shoes: Cotton On/Rubi

This is my favourite top at the moment; I'm obsessed with it! The detail's so pretty. It actually looks better with shorts and without a cardi but it's too cold to wear shorts right now. Pasty scaley legs in shorts in winter aren't exactly the best look, but I guess that's why we wear tights under our shorts. I love that bag too! It makes me feel pretty. Those jeans are my new favourite pair. I've gone through heaps of jeans since the black Lee's fell apart but none of them felt right but this pair is filling that hole in my heart that happened when I lost my Lee's. They have white stitching, and they're so cute! They're not as skinny as I'd like them to be. Oh well.

Anyway I wore this to the cinema. We went and saw Bedtime Stories. It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. It was so cute and kiddy! I actually liked it.

So right now I'm watching the 40 Year Old Virgin. Best. Movie. Ever.

And yeah that's pretty much all that happened today apart from me watching like 576387 Alex Gaskarth videos on YouTube. He's adorable! I like how I talk about him as if I actually know him. I'm quite the sad one.

Ok so tomorrow I have to start working on my Personal Project essay!

Ohohoh, Gravity's Rainbow reached moer than 100 plays in iTunes today. That made me kind of happy!

Oh, I can see now that all these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavour to find my whoever.

All Time Low ftw! Jack Barakat is a sex god. I'm pretty sure he's the epitome of perfection.

Phwoar!

Anyway, Happy Australia Day and Chinese New Year! Today was really cold so I just stayed inside for most of the day. However, I did get into the spirit of Australia Day by having some Vegemite.

So, onto today's outfit:

Cardi: Forever21
Scarf: Cotton On
Top: Cotton On
Shoes: Cotton On
Leggings: Supre
Bangles: Diva

I finally mustered up the courage to use my Chictopia account and I put this outfit on there! I think it's pretty cute. The scarf's my favourite thing at the moment and I feel like that cardigan just goes with everything and the leggings, well the leggings are so comfortable and I don't have a pair of black skinnies anymore so they're a pretty good replacement. Thank you Alle for buying them for me!

Today was pretty uneventful. I downloaded music and have been playing One Week of Danger by The Virgins non-stop. The Virgin just ooze cool and I feel so indie when I listen to them. I also cleaned up my desk so it's now an organized chaos, as instead of just plain chaos. Hah. Whilst I was looking through all of my stuff I found my "Who Will My Lover Be?" quiz box thing. Apparently my lover will be a good looking, politically correct wanderer. Alright. I had a good laugh. I also played Cranium with my brother Max, and like usually I kicked his arse. The tet holiday isn't as boring as I thought it would be. I'm actually enjoying doing nothing! I have yet to actually do any work on my Personal Project essay which I promised myself that I would dedicate the whole tet holiday to. Oops. I'll start tomorrow. Promise.

Ew, I've over done the italics in this post. Gay.

Owh, fuck. The internet's stopped working so I can't actually post this now. Erk. Oh well, at least it's saved! : )

Hello Seattle

Take me above your light,
Carry me through the night,
Hold me secure in flight,
Sing me to sleep tonight.

I looooove Owl City. I discovered Owl City last night and have been listening non-stop ever since!

So this was my outfit today. I currently love this outfit because it's comfy and casual enough for school but I can still wear it when I go out to dinner too.

Top: Forever21
Cardi: Forever21
Leggings: Supre
Bangles: Diva and $2 Shop

I've also taken to wearing my hair up all the time now as well because I'm trying to grow it again and I simply can't be bothered straightening it every day.
I apologise for the awful photo quality. I'm stuck with taking webcam and mobile phone pictures at the moment because Sophie broke my camera with her face. I'm trying to butter Dad up and convince him to buy me a new camera *fingers crossed*

Speaking of new fabulous things. When I was back in Australia on holidays I decided to invest in some new make up. So I ditched powder blush and bronzer for Maybelline New York Dream Mousse Bronzer and Blush, and I must say it was quite possibly the best decision I have ever made in my life! It looks so much more natural, I don't have to worry about brushes and, I have no idea why, but ever since my skin's also gotten a bit better. So if you're about to buy a new blush or bronzer I recommend that you give the Maybelline New York Dream Mousse line a go!

Woo! Ploy does product placement for Maybelline New York!

001

So, this is my first post. What exactly does one write in their first post? Am I supposed to introduce myself, or just get right into the swing of things and write about my day and my thoughts? I don't want to write something embarrassing, nor do I want to write something cliche or boring - as I know people will judge me by this. I'd like to say that I don't care what you people think and for the most part I don't, but somewhere, deep down I do.

For what it's worth I'm Ploy. I'm complicated and simple at the same time. Procrastination and indecision are my vices. I could waste both my and your time by writing a long list of useless adjectives which I think describe myself, but I won't. To sum things up, I'm really just an average teenager who hopes to get out of this place and make something of herself.