Here I am in science class not doing my work as per usual. Instead I sit and stare into space and I started thinking about change. The word 'change' evokes a number of different feelings. It excites me, but more than anything it scares me shitless. I'm at that stage in my life where everything around me is changing. This time in two years I'll be at the end of my highschool career and it will be time for me to go out into the real world.
I honestly have no idea what I'll do once I'm out there or what I want to do with my life. There are two things I could do with my life. I could go straight into school, study hard, get an average 9-5 job, get married, have kids, grow old and die. The other scenario is I go explore the world, meet people, and write and paint. I'd live day by day and things would get tough, but I'd be free. The other scenario is a dream for some but it wouldn't make me happy. I don't even know if I want kids to be honest. I just don't want to live within the social norms and be tied down with a burden like children. Anyway, I can barely look after myself let alone other people.
That was my little philosophical rant for the day. Well no. That's not all; I have problems. Problems of the social sort. I'm awkward and uncomfortable. I don't know how to talk to people at all. My brain just doesn't work normally and I don't know why. I've read all those magazines about how to talk to people but none of it seems to register. Maybe I'd be better at people if I just stopped trying to be good at talking to people. I don't know. People in general confuse me.
I guess this calls for a metaphor. So, it's like we're all radios and I'm tuned onto a different frequency.
There's a Valentine's dance tonight. Yes, one week after Valentine's day. There's not much else to write to be honest. If you want to read something interesting about what's been happening try reading Migara's blog.