Sunday

Slip me into something warm; My eyes still scream childhood

I was laying on my bed flipping though my diary when it finally hit me: it's April already. Where has this year gone? So much has happened in such little time and the time really has flown by. January feels like it was only yesterday. It feels like year 10 started the other week, but no, that was eight months ago, and the school year's almost over. In around two months we'll akk be on our summer holidays. In a little over four months it'll be a new school year. I'll be in year 11, and that scares me. It means there are only two years left of high school, then we'll close that chapter of our lives and move on to the "real" world. We've all grown up so fast. The days spent running around on the playground, falling over, scraping knees, crying, then getting back up again two seconds later, don't feel as long ago as they really were. Everything and everybody is so different now. In a way I love how complex and difficult our lives are becoming, and all of this independence, freedom and experience. In a way I hate it too; everything's so complicated and things aren't easy. We have to take not only what we want, but what everybody else wants into account. We have to think about the consequences of our actions. We've also learnt, and are learning how things really are. The world seems so much harsher now, and we've realised that we really are alone. We've learnt the hard way that when things go wrong and we get hurt, they can't be kissed better. We either have to deal with it ourselves, let go or live with the consequences. I miss so much about being a little kid. Everybody was so carefree and no where near as judgemental as they are now; making a friend was as easy as going up to that kid down the street and asking them if they wanted to come over for a swim or play cricket. Now it's nothing like that, but as much as I miss the simplicity of being a child, I do love all the drama of being a teenager and I honestly I really wouldn't go back in time.
I was looking through old photos from this time last year and I've changed so much since then, both physically and as a person. I've grown up so fast. Everybody has. It's amazing. I don't notice people changing as it happens, unless it's something drastic, but when I do it really does take my breath away. As hard as growing up is, it's an adventure in itself and, as cheesy as it sounds, we should enjoy every minute of it. It awful at the time, but some day we'll look back at all this and smile.

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