Thursday

This is fact not fiction for the first time in years

As of late I've been feeling good. I could go so far as to say that I'm happy but I won't because I know that, like most of the things I say, it will come back to bite me in the arse. I also don't want to jinx it.

The hot weather has set in, and I guess it means that summer is either here or it is most definitely on the way. It's hot at the moment, but in comparison to how hot it'll be here in June/July/August, this is nothing. The arrival of summer signifies the end of the school year. Although it's not quite here yet but it's so close. I couldn't be happier that this school year is ending. Grade 10 hasn't been the best experience. I don't mean that entirely, because I loved grade 10 as much as I hated it. As exciting as the end of the school year is, it also means exams. Ick. It also means that people will leave.

Even though I said that I was happy before, I'm also tired. I'm both physically and mentally exhausted. Getting all of my school work done usually means staying up til midnight. When I get to bed I have such a hard time getting to sleep because of all the thoughts running through my head, so in effect I only get about 6 hours of sleep each night. That may be enough for some people, but it isn't enough for me. Getting out of bed in the morning is the hardest thing ever and I walk around in a zombie-like state until about 9 o'clock. Going through the school day on only 6 hour sleep would be okay if it wasn't for P.E. and now P.E.'s even worse because it's so hot and humid outside. The heat and the humidity seem to drain energy.

To make up for my sleep deprivation and lack of energy I've been playing music constantly, hoping that it will give me energy. I love music, even though my attempts at learning instruments all failed. The lyrics inspire me and provoke thought. I hope one day I'll be able to write and draw things that are just as thought provoking and inspirational.

Speaking of though provoking and inspiration things, the other night there was a massive storm that woke me up at around 3 in the morning. As cliche as it sounds, I love storms. I think they're beautiful. I love wrapping myself up in a blanket and staring out the window as I watch the rain fall and lighting flash. I haven't seen a storm like that in ages. There's something about heavy rain which I love. I don't know what exactly. I like how it washes all the dirt away. I love going out after heavy rain because it feels as if everything is clean and everything bad has been washed away. I wish I'd stayed up and watched it for a little longer but I was exhausted and quickly went back to sleep.

Although it has been quite wet, it's sunny as well. I like how clean everything is after the rain and the sun. There's something about bright sunlight that shows everything in a different perspective and makes everything feel alright.

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